Before I came to know Christ
Before I came to know Christ, my being was in a mess. I was super competitive and wanted to be the best at many things because I thought that I would find fulfilment in the validation of others. I would strive for Earthly goals (i.e. getting good results, being very wealthy) because I thought these would bring me happiness. I initially found some satisfaction in the praises of others, but I never knew I was digging a deeper hole for myself. I would go on to subconsciously create a powerful image of myself and resenting people who I felt was a threat to this image. Because of that, I harboured grudges in an attempt to defend this image. My breaking point and need for the Lord came in University, where nothing I did felt fulfilling. Even if I did something good or if someone would commend me, it never felt enough. I was miserable and went through a period of great turmoil. Coupling this with an incompleteness in the family made me feel so far removed from the Lord.
How I came to know Christ
The turning point came when my friends from Refuge approached me to sign up for SOCL. I was sceptical that the Lord could bring about change, but this dire need of the Lord and understanding at the core, who the Lord is made me sign up anyway. A series of events that came after made me convinced that the Lord really wanted me to be at SOCL. During this period, many truths were revealed to me but the one that hit me hard was the one from the Prodigal Son, that Jesus loves me in spite of all my flaws and inadequacies. Jesus proudly validates me and glorifies me as his son, just like the proud Father who threw a large banquet for the returning of his lost Son. I then had a desire to be honest to the Lord, to let him into the darkest chasms of my life. Slowly but surely, the Lord started to work in me. He started the healing process and I had this vision that the Lord was really proud of me, stroking my head because for the first time in so long, I was willing to pray for those who have hurt me. I also felt really comforted for I realized that in the darkest points in my life, I still remembered God, meaning that the Holy Spirit was in me all along.
My life in Christ
I started having a completely different image of God. Gone was the authoritarian miracle-worker that I always thought was God and in came an ever-loving Saviour who always welcomes me into his warm embrace. God started giving me a glimpse of his vision and I started questioning the ways of the world and there, I saw the emptiness and decay which the Lord wanted to protect me from. Now, I don’t feel compelled to return to the old ways of living. I became more forgiving by starting to forgive my family members and also aim to improve my relationship with my family, starting with my immediate family members. My thoughts also turned to how I could use my gifts to advance the Lord’s kingdom and how I can share this great love of God to my friends. I just felt really in love with the Lord.
The challenge and invitation
The Lord has done a great deal in just 10-days and this is just him getting started. So today, brothers and sisters, I invite you to open your hearts to the Lord and receive him, for if the Lord can do so much in 10 days, imagine how much he can do in your lifetime!
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